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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Parenting, from a Daddy's point of view

Recently, Daddy caught up with a few other Daddies (William, Peter, Kelvin, and Vincent) to kiss and tell on our little darling/s. JuliaGabriel and DunBarJones had invited a few chaps to share their kids-raising experiences.

We had Fiona and William from JuliaGabriel, and Janice from DunbarJones joining us, and the theme was :

"Developing Happy and Confident Children -
A Dad's Perspective"

We met up at the Wine Company @ Evans, and Daddy was wondering whether we will stay sober to spill our stories :p

Why Dads? We all agree that more Dads are getting involved in family life, be it taking care of kids, bonding with babies or even studying with teenagers. We see a mindset change from Asia's Daddies. For once, it might be interesting to talk about parenting from a man's point of view.

In case you are wondering, Daddies do not need to be discipline master, and they do not have to show stern face with big cane all day long. Today's kids do not response positively to threats, must use negotiations ...

In summary, we went through some of the following pointers , and we laugh ourselves silly whenever we share common experiences :p

1) How do we manage Jealousy and kids?
Kids are jealous because they feel insecure, they suspect parents are not paying enough attention.
We can try to empower the older ones, let them feel responsible for their younger siblings.
Example, only big brother can have this privilege bla bla bla. Kids would feel trusted, and they know Mummy and Daddy still love them :)

2) Reading stories- who is reading?
There is a lot of difference when kids read, and when they listen to Parents read.
Parent's tones, and our accents can let their little minds wander, and can make a storyline more Dramatic. When kids love reading, they will automatically love to gain more knowledge and become more curious (eg what does the next chapter holds?)
We all know how "Show & Tell" is trying to encourage kids to love reading, and Express themselves :)

3) Language and Communication
Kids are using English as their primary mode of communications, so much so that their second language (Mother tongue) might be neglected.
Our Wen Yi is one good example, every Mandarin-Question got an Answer-in-English !
We just hope this is a passing phase, and we can only try to encourage him to speak more Mandarin.

William shared with us that in some families, Mummy will speak English, and Daddy will speak Mandarin to their kids. From young, Kids are brought up to breathe and speak both languages comfortably (it takes discipline and determination from parents)
To prove his point, William can strike a conversation fluently in English, Hindi, Mandarin, even a few dialects !

4) Kids behaviour (both mischievous and good, either funny or exasperating)
Some kids instinctly know how to wriggle themselves out of trouble. Peter and William shared how their boys will snuggle up and express "apology" like little angels. No matter how angry a parent can be, a kid knows how to melt our heart :p

Daddy shared how the little ones always see and learn, then improvised and perfect their little schemes ! Kids are smart, and sometimes parents are really at their mercy haha.

Got a kid who likes to bite (ouch)? Daddy Vincent shared how he coax his little boy by reading "Teeth is not for biting" :)
And it works !

**above book title image from Amazon**

5) How to manage kids sleeping pattern?
A lot of parents always ask how some kids can sleep early, while others sleep pass midnight? It all boils down to the parent's habits! Parents sleep late, kids sleep late. This challenge is easier to surmount when kids are still young, to cultivate into their habit and routine.

Disclaimer, it does not mean non-social Daddies are not involved Daddies. It just happen that our group tonite are happily embracing social-media and even blog about out baby/toddlers/preschooler daily hiccups .

Daddy is just glad that our generation's Daddies are playing a more active role in parenting. In fact, Fiona ask what could be the "sudden" realisation that Daddies are now more involved? (maybe more working mummies and men to chip in with parenting, Daddies are finding it cool to parent their kids, and even sharing their growing up stories...)

Have you thought about why more Dads are embracing parenthood?

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Anyway, we enjoy each other's company on that evening, and Daddy would like to take this opportunity to thanks Fiona, William and Janice for hosting us. Till the next meetup, you will definitely hear more gossips from Daddies.

We heard the next meetup might be over Soccer! That would be so cool !
Boys will be boys, and that include the men :p


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